​I grew up as a ‘free-range’ child, spending my summers hiking, biking and playing outdoors.  I remember as a young child going hiking with my father and siblings.   While we didn’t have a lot of time to wander on The Long Trail in Vermont, I do have memories trekking through the woods together as a family-pack.  Being the youngest, I also had the shortest legs and sometimes struggled to keep up.  When I was six I can recall trotting behind my Dad asking, “how much farther until we get there?”   “I think it’s just around the next bend”, he would say, and so we would trek on.  Either around that proverbial bend, or on top of the next knoll that provided a view, he would pause thoughtfully and then look down at me, smile and say, “Hmm.  Must be the next bend, Lizzie.  On we go.”  I would take a deep breath and just kept trotting along behind him.  Of course he knew well it was a longer journey, but to keep it manageable for me it was always, “around the next bend”.

 As I watch him navigate his own map of dementia and Alzheimer’s it seems that the roles are reversed and I am now the one who offers the manageable amounts of information as we trek down a path that on some days seemingly has no map.  I honestly don’t know if the answers he seeks, or that I seek, are around that “next bend”.  There are days I feel as though I am relying on navigation by the sun, moon and stars alone when it comes to thinking of ways to change a behavior, communicate a situation, or think of ways to simply communicate that creates the sense of comfort in the moment.  It’s a very personal journey.

 When I first started talking to other caregivers, I frequently heard them say, “I had no idea what it really takes until I was fully involved; and each time I think, OK, this has to be the really tough part, some new situation presents itself and redefines what I thought was difficult.” 

 I love my father and the time I get to spend with him.  As I have said before, it’s a gift.  And, I am a person who doesn’t mind getting lost along the way.  Matter of fact I rather enjoy it.  It always presents something new to see.  When I have days that I feel I am lagging behind, I just remind myself …. the answer is probably just around the next bend Lizzie, just around the next bend.

Written by: Liz Vogel, President & CEO Dots​